Relationships are the largest investment of our adult lives

A Tibetan monk friend of mine came to teach in the West. He kept getting asked questions not about spirituality, but about relationships.  

Eventually he decided to forgo his vows and get married just so he could understand what all the fuss was about. Relationships are central to our lives in the west. We place huge value in them and spend most of our adult life seeking them, managing them and often exiting them. 

How many of us had a course at high school or university about relationships? 

Yet it’s the single largest time investment in our adult lives. Most of us learn relationships from what we grew up in, either repeating or doing the opposite.  

Thinking carefully about what you want and need from a relationship and skillfully navigating the difference between your own unmet childhood needs and realistic needs and wants of an adult is crucial. 

When we understand our own wants and needs we can then look at our intimate other.  We can then assess the health and happiness of our union and also ask if we are able to grow together in happiness or is it time to move on.